wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
