If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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