come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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