Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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