And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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