he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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