just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
