so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
