This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
