i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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