when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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