Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
