Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
