we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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