An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
