her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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