There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She bit a glass in half.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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