Ambien. No doubt about it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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