I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
