and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
