I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
