Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.