his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.