He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit