What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
