Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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