The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
