ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
