Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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