This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
