Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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