i already hear my dad disowning me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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