I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
