Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
