Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
