I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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