I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
