Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
