I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
