my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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