Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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