i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize