This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
