she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
