Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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