Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize