Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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