I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
