wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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