she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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