the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
