Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
