What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
