I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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