He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
