But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
