Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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