dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
